Sweet 'Myself' I'll remember thee...

This year seems so long,

The summer was scorching,

The winter so cold,

Autumn was dry

And spring never came.

This year was just so full of pain.

Love was like the hearth on a chilly winter evening,

That love is no longer,

It's all so fake,

The oaths we take,

The promises we make.

And all of a sudden I find everything at stake.

I have been struggling to come to terms 

With myself and my dreams,

It seems the nest is broken before I even built it.

It's been the hardest time ever,

My sweet self has bid me goodbye

I didn't stop her,

I didn't even try.

I know now it does not matter what I wished,

I should have never dreamt,

I am a woman

Like so many

For whom dreams are not meant.

For ever since I learnt what a woman was,

I stood up for their every other cause,

But now I know,

In doing so I was fighting against another breed of women,

So ignorant was I,

So immature then!

Lessons take some time,

But time is a good teacher,

It has taught me where I belong;

So I am back to the roots,

Licking my wounds,

Blaming none, 'cept myself,

For weaving dreams and seeing a tomorrow

As bright as can be.

But, that tomorrow is 

Not for me!

In this one year, I have grown,

I have known,

The world anew,

Discovered new facets of people I thought I knew,

But I have no regrets,

Because I have lived and loved the same

So what if I stand defeated in life's game.

I have had enough,

So much love,

That I cannot take,

I have nothing to give anymore,

My heart feels sore,

I have loved it's true,

With all my heart for sure,

It was spontaneous, it was pure.

But it's not my love that mattered,

There is so much more,

As you move ahead,

As you soar.

I will be there,

But forgive me, if just a shadow of my former self,

For somewhere down the line it got killed,

And I'm not sure when.

I would be flesh and blood,

But never alive again!