Life after marriage!

It was all dream and fantasy:

The fairy tale love

The ever after.

And now I know why

All fairy tales end

The way they do,

Because when you tie the knot

Love becomes a not

And everything comes tumbling thereafter.

Your little hopes,

Your wishes,

Your dreams,

For all that is there:

Are angry words

Screams

And bitter days ahead.

You cannot walk-out;

You cannot walk-away;

You cannot walk;

You cannot talk!

Paralyzed and hurt

You lie,

And bear with it

Till the day you die!

If you dare,

Then you’ll be alone,

For they’d cite all social causes,

And there are always the emotional clauses;

And every day you’d wish you could rewind

Go back in time and say the ‘no.’

That ‘no’ that would have given you the joy you always had;

The ‘no’ that would have never dried your smile;

The ‘no’ that would have made life worthwhile!

But truth is,

You were fooled by those fairy tales,

And now you know not whom to blame,

You’re now part of this game,

And it’s a shame!

So you breathe

Not live,

And wait to live another fantasy,

But only in hope,

(Or in dope)

And it’s not going to be easy!

Our First Anniversary

Little by little we've been building this nest
Each new day a new calamity brings
And each time a twig slips off
And you go looking for some more
That will bind our home together
Give it strength in all ways possible
But like a little fledgling I keep looking for motherly warmth
And shedding all inhibitions you play both partner and parent
Giving in to my tantrums
But never giving up on me!
Seven long years we waited
To finally take the vow
And all along the experience of love was for me
The teenage exuberance and wow
You lived through it and grew with me
But when in time you outgrew me
Both in terms of love and maturity
The finer subtler essence of love
That I can only feel through you
And see in your eyes
I have so many questions
And there are so many lies
I want answers to some simple puzzles
And each time you smile
And when I look into your eyes
They say but one thing
"Love you are a child"-
A wild wild child
Full of love and full of faith
And a belief that I am you and
You, me!

Some talk...

We are the progenies of Prufrock

Living and partly living

Pursuing our dreams

And like a dreamer dying on the streets

Hungry and diseased.

But even when we shun those very visions

We lived for

We are starved

Of happiness, creativity and freedom,

Of being our very own

Whether you bang on the doors of your

Fractured intellect,

Or hunt for money,

You are still one among the many,

Hungry for more

Evermore

We would walk the parties

On a cocktail night

This time talking of

Oracles and miracles

Of the niche we call

Society.

In fashion, what is in

What is out,

Never mind

What you think,

And who cares

What’s it all about…

You just talk

And let them know

You are kin

To some Di Caprio!

Back home you surf the net

Find out who was it

You talked to

And who was it you met!

We still are patients,

And patiently we walk the

Mundane way,

From the Blue Mondays

To the welcome Fridays,

Swaying to the jazz

Of nothingness

Critiquing

Criticizing

But participating,

Nonetheless.

We are foolproof,

Or so we think,

We are fools

And there is proof

And that is true.

This way my friends,

That’s the gate of my house,

But I’m still looking for a home

To live.

I don’t like the nasty looks,

So it’s okay that I have spent,

A bit too much on the rent…

Good night then,

Meet you again,

On my way

To discuss life,

And share our views

Talk of this and talk of that

Who is thin and who is fat

What is good and what is bad

And I agree it is fun

So that’s it then.

Done.

Once More Let us Live...

Breed of Adam
Breed of Eve
You know not where you are heading,
Nor what you are worth,
Sitting here at the threshold of
Being and not being
Mechanical robots,
An aberration of His Divine intention
Starved of happiness
Deprived of creativity,
Thirsty you roam from door to door
Asking for a drop to quench
That greed
Hungry and palsied
Diseased breed of our forefathers
Running after a vision
Far removed from joy and fulfillment.
Crawling creatures throng your rooms,
Serpentine lovers woo you
And you stand and stare
As if in a trance,
No more than a zombie.
Breed of Adam
Breed of Eve,
My brothers
My sisters,
The vision is ghastly,
Broken images
Shattered dreams
We are still traveling
Where no roads meet
Rocky, infertile, land of illusion
Everything a mirage,
Fooling and convincing each of us
Of a better life
Where utopic wonders spring forth
Phoenix-like from your sweat
Fellow beings pause and ponder
Feel your being
You have been
Taunted into becoming just another ‘number’
Now it’s time,
Let us build Eden again…
Once again let us dream…

The Realization

It is in this hour that memories tangle with desire,
Here at the threshold where life begins anew,
I can still sense the whiff of despair.
Why is it that one bond is the severing of another?
They would say philosophical stuff,
I care not for,
In words you can put many a thing
But in deed,
It is not possible indeed.
I have waited every hour
Staring at the starlit ceiling,
Wondering how the beauties of life
And nature,
Have become an artificial thing...
There is pain in having,
There is pain in disowning,
There is pain even in knowing,
Happiness flickers through this pain,
Or is it,
This pain is so intense,
It is pleasure, surpassing the limitations of happiness
Rejuvenating and reviving us,
Teaching us each day,
A new doctrine of life...
Leaving behind the trails of our deeds
Like a precedence.
This is it then
This is life
This is love
This is...

A Short Eulogy Dedicated To The Wonderful Friends Who Played Host To Me When I Came To Bangalore

Not the land of mellow fruitfulness,
Nor the land forlorn,
But in the midst of drizzle and rain,
A welcome home
A few friends,
Amidst the smiles
And the laughter,
The togetherness,
There is room for one soul
And many more.
Lonesome hearts in a tryst of fate
Have found a hearth
Miles away from what people call home,
Each is kin to the other one,
A simply home but with loads of fun,
All are welcome,
There're strangers to none,
Each knowing that life is this...
It's no use wasting in 'whose' and 'his'...
Even though miles away
It never feels you are all alone...
You have a family,
This too is home!

Sweet 'Myself' I'll remember thee...

This year seems so long,

The summer was scorching,

The winter so cold,

Autumn was dry

And spring never came.

This year was just so full of pain.

Love was like the hearth on a chilly winter evening,

That love is no longer,

It's all so fake,

The oaths we take,

The promises we make.

And all of a sudden I find everything at stake.

I have been struggling to come to terms 

With myself and my dreams,

It seems the nest is broken before I even built it.

It's been the hardest time ever,

My sweet self has bid me goodbye

I didn't stop her,

I didn't even try.

I know now it does not matter what I wished,

I should have never dreamt,

I am a woman

Like so many

For whom dreams are not meant.

For ever since I learnt what a woman was,

I stood up for their every other cause,

But now I know,

In doing so I was fighting against another breed of women,

So ignorant was I,

So immature then!

Lessons take some time,

But time is a good teacher,

It has taught me where I belong;

So I am back to the roots,

Licking my wounds,

Blaming none, 'cept myself,

For weaving dreams and seeing a tomorrow

As bright as can be.

But, that tomorrow is 

Not for me!

In this one year, I have grown,

I have known,

The world anew,

Discovered new facets of people I thought I knew,

But I have no regrets,

Because I have lived and loved the same

So what if I stand defeated in life's game.

I have had enough,

So much love,

That I cannot take,

I have nothing to give anymore,

My heart feels sore,

I have loved it's true,

With all my heart for sure,

It was spontaneous, it was pure.

But it's not my love that mattered,

There is so much more,

As you move ahead,

As you soar.

I will be there,

But forgive me, if just a shadow of my former self,

For somewhere down the line it got killed,

And I'm not sure when.

I would be flesh and blood,

But never alive again!